wow. i'm totally buzzed right now. no way i could sleep, which is a bit of a bad thing because i have to get up early tomorrow. me and the fam are going to dreamworld [its an amusement park]. i'm really looking forward to it, i love going on adrenile producing rides. hope i'm not too tired. i've got caffiene tables so i'll take them along. not as good as speed, but not too bad either. for keeping awake that is, not as not for use as a recreation drug. heh. i remember when i was young and stupid we though taking a fuckload of caffiene tables might be pleasuable, we both took 8 from what i remember [thats 8 cups of coffee, and i had never been a drinker of caffieneted drinks so it was extra strong for me.] We both felt so sick, it was absoluely awful. and that was the night of the school semi formal. i'm sure people though we were on something stronger.
I've been speaking to this guy on msn for a while. I think I've writen about him before, I met up with him in the city for coffee. We didn't really think a reletionship would work, but it was still an enjoyable night. I feel a bit bad because I haven't really responed to him on msn, I just felt awkard I guess. I haven't really been online that much as off late, and when I am its to do a specific task. not really in the mood for chatting. i really like chatting when i'm just passing time online. but not if i'm trying to get something done.
i just reread over what i've written. during that last paragraph i felt myself drop a few levels. and its totally noticable by my grammer. my attention span is a bit shot, i'll be writing something and then all of a sudden I just lose track of the though. very annoying.
woot. i'm excited about tomorrow. i dropped into a service station before and got munchies for the family in the car. also to give me sugar boosts tomorrow. actually, now that i think about it, the rush of the rides will probably stimulate my body.
anyway. i had a really great night tonight. i got to have a little coke, which is hell expensive here. i've only had it 3 times. I wish it was cheap. One thing that is especially good at is not sending my mood up too much the days following it. i've heard the come down off it is really awful, but i don't get it. i might feel a little drained, but its not a problem. actually its good because it reminds me not to take too many drugs. i like health. i've had a problem with needing pot to feel normal, and it was terrible. so i'm pretty careful of my use with harder things. and i just don't feel like smoking pot that much.
anyhow. i think i'm over my need to rave aimless. i love it when the talk just flows.
life is good.
oh yeah. i'm also dropping out of uni. the assignments are already starting to freak me out and i've only been there a week. i'm taking my self off the antidepressants, as i'm sure i'm mentioned before. and i just don't want to encounter anything thats going to make me need them again. it would make me feel very good and emotionally strong to be off them. don't worry. i been taken off a different antidepressant before so I know how they do it. I was at 1 tablet one day, 2 the next. So I took myself down to one every day. which i stayed at for 2 weeks. no, actually i think it was more. and no hassles. now i've been on 1 every second day. am thinking of staying on that for another week and then going off them completely. does anyone who reads this know how long they take to get out of your system? i'm looking forward to the possiblity of being able to orgasm.
i think i'll post now. before i start raving again. i need to try and get some sleep.
ooh. i don't usually talk openly about my sex life but i had sex tonight. it was really good.