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good bye sweet journal [08 May 2005|04:46am]
well.. this has been a fun journal. but i'ma changing addresses

this one's been quite for too long.

find me at rosiemeow
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8 hours of data entry is not fun [18 Mar 2005|08:59pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

I worked an 8 hour shift doing data entry today. Oh my god, I am so exhausted. 4 hours is long enough. hmm.. so what do I do when I get home. Go online. it figures.

I'm going out tonight. yay. get picked up in about half an hour. Its going to involve free drugs for me too. yay. something that I definately need after today.

I found out more about my new job today. I'll be working for Ricoh, they sell photocopies and the like. I didn't know much about my job except that I'll be a personal assistant. The guys I'm working for are salesmen, part of what I'll be doing is looking after their clients when they need stuff like new toner. ALso, I'll be designing flyers for their sales campaigns. cool. this means that I can put that I have marketing experience on my resume.

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the hours i just spent on this stupid layout [16 Mar 2005|02:30pm]
I have spent literally all day playing with the overrides for this and another account that I have. Take a look at my new design.

The other site I was working on is feligndesigns
I'm offering to do free layouts. Yay. What a great deal.
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yay. i have good news [15 Mar 2005|10:20pm]
[ mood | awake ]

I got a job! yeah. off the internet too, thats the second job i've gotten offline. it does work people!!

the rest of this entry is very long, but i'm sure you'll find my latest news and the ramble that accompanies it interestingCollapse )

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[09 Mar 2005|11:40am]
I dropped out of uni. yeah, that makes it 3 times. yuk. I just really really didn't want to go. The thought of all the assignments that I'd have to do was just weighing down on me.
One good thing though is that I applied for a bunch of jobs yesterday and I have an interview this afternoon. I'm sort of sitting around bored waiting for it to be 1 oclock now. Its a casual job as a personal assistant to 3 people in a 'digital' something or other company. Really hoping I get it, that would be totally ideal. I don't want to have too much time before finding a job. And I don't want to have to go to stepping stones too often.
Lyndsay needs to move out in the next couple of months so I'm hopeing I can find work that pays enough for me to move out with him. The only problem I have with this interview today is that it didn't specify how many hours a week it would be. yup. I'm exciting today
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sitting here late at night [06 Mar 2005|03:26am]
[ mood | awake ]

wow. i'm totally buzzed right now. no way i could sleep, which is a bit of a bad thing because i have to get up early tomorrow. me and the fam are going to dreamworld [its an amusement park]. i'm really looking forward to it, i love going on adrenile producing rides. hope i'm not too tired. i've got caffiene tables so i'll take them along. not as good as speed, but not too bad either. for keeping awake that is, not as not for use as a recreation drug. heh. i remember when i was young and stupid we though taking a fuckload of caffiene tables might be pleasuable, we both took 8 from what i remember [thats 8 cups of coffee, and i had never been a drinker of caffieneted drinks so it was extra strong for me.] We both felt so sick, it was absoluely awful. and that was the night of the school semi formal. i'm sure people though we were on something stronger.

I've been speaking to this guy on msn for a while. I think I've writen about him before, I met up with him in the city for coffee. We didn't really think a reletionship would work, but it was still an enjoyable night. I feel a bit bad because I haven't really responed to him on msn, I just felt awkard I guess. I haven't really been online that much as off late, and when I am its to do a specific task. not really in the mood for chatting. i really like chatting when i'm just passing time online. but not if i'm trying to get something done.

i just reread over what i've written. during that last paragraph i felt myself drop a few levels. and its totally noticable by my grammer. my attention span is a bit shot, i'll be writing something and then all of a sudden I just lose track of the though. very annoying.

woot. i'm excited about tomorrow. i dropped into a service station before and got munchies for the family in the car. also to give me sugar boosts tomorrow. actually, now that i think about it, the rush of the rides will probably stimulate my body.

anyway. i had a really great night tonight. i got to have a little coke, which is hell expensive here. i've only had it 3 times. I wish it was cheap. One thing that is especially good at is not sending my mood up too much the days following it. i've heard the come down off it is really awful, but i don't get it. i might feel a little drained, but its not a problem. actually its good because it reminds me not to take too many drugs. i like health. i've had a problem with needing pot to feel normal, and it was terrible. so i'm pretty careful of my use with harder things. and i just don't feel like smoking pot that much.

anyhow. i think i'm over my need to rave aimless. i love it when the talk just flows.

life is good.

oh yeah. i'm also dropping out of uni. the assignments are already starting to freak me out and i've only been there a week. i'm taking my self off the antidepressants, as i'm sure i'm mentioned before. and i just don't want to encounter anything thats going to make me need them again. it would make me feel very good and emotionally strong to be off them. don't worry. i been taken off a different antidepressant before so I know how they do it. I was at 1 tablet one day, 2 the next. So I took myself down to one every day. which i stayed at for 2 weeks. no, actually i think it was more. and no hassles. now i've been on 1 every second day. am thinking of staying on that for another week and then going off them completely. does anyone who reads this know how long they take to get out of your system? i'm looking forward to the possiblity of being able to orgasm.

i think i'll post now. before i start raving again. i need to try and get some sleep.

ooh. i don't usually talk openly about my sex life but i had sex tonight. it was really good.

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[04 Mar 2005|02:01pm]

You Are 66% Pure

You have done it in the ass.

You have done it high on grass.

Dr. Seuss Purity Test

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
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just to say hi [04 Mar 2005|01:56pm]
I thought that I'd update just to let anyone who reads this that I'm still alive and well.

I've started uni, not feeling too motivated about it. Sort of wish I hadn't enrolled but I guess that now that I'm in I'll stick with it. I went to go to a lecture yesterday and I had the wrong room. Went to the library to recheck my timetable and it still said the wrong room. At least I left the other lecture, I don"t think land transactions would have been too interesting. Its a bugger too because I have to keep some online journal for the class and we need to update each week and I have no idea what to do.

I lost some weight. woot. only one person has noticed thus far, and its not a pissy amount. at least 5kg, or 12 pounds. I wonder if my parents have noticed and are just being quiet, or if they just don't take any notice. even my pyschartrist hasn't noticed and hes normally on the lookout for that with the whole eating disorder thing.
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free designs [24 Feb 2005|11:50am]
update this later
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work every night this week woo... money!! [15 Feb 2005|01:23pm]
[ mood | thirsty ]

last week i didn't get anywork at all. yesterday tony rings me and they want me every night this week. i hope it works out that i have a bit of extra spending money. the way it works with centrelink means that if i earn say 100, they pay me something like 80 90 dollars less. still, i'd rather be working for the money. work is ok. its good to be capricorn when it comes to essestials like having to work.

there was a bit of an episode yesterday about getting there. see, i can't get public transport because there is none. its out in an industrial area of brisbane. so i have to drive. around 2 my brother asks if i need the car for the afternoon, i tell him no. little did i realise that he would still have the car when i need it at 4.30. i had to call a taxi which i wasn't too pleased about. it would have cost me half my wage and then i would have had to get dad to come pick me up. dad arrived home at 4.30 on the dot, probably 5 minutes before i would have left normally. the taxi was easy to cancel, i was a bit worried about that because its all computerised now. i thought i had good control over the situation, but i forgot to change my clothes and the shirt i was wearing showed a bit of tummy. i don't think they really would have minded, but still, its work in a office. so glad no one seemed to notice.

i went to stepping stones yesterday. did two job applications but i could really muster the energy to write out applications. i'm still pissed that i didn't get the office works job.

i saw my doctor this morning. he said that i was looking really good. no, i can't go off antidepressants. i asked if i could. he said that with my bipolar while i was good he really didn't want to change the mix. damn. i wish i could orgasm.

O week [orientation] is next week. todd, my doctor, ordered me to join as many clubs as i can. i'm a bit nervous about doing that. but i'll have a look and see if i find anything interesting. todd asked about something like rock climbing. i could go for that. maybe. i asked if i could join the high society and he said no. hehe. then i asked if i could join the engineers club, he asked why, and i said engineers. he gave me a lecture to stay away from engineering students. i had a nice encounter with a group of engineering students, involving lots of free alchol for me. that was fun

and to be really interesting. i'm going to tell you how i'm going to do some cleaning this afternoon. yes i am in a chatty mood, and no, i don't have anything to talk about.

oh yeah. i'm taking the plunge and doing nude photography with that guy i met off the internet. will post the links.

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the new layout is done [10 Feb 2005|04:58pm]
[ mood | good ]

yay. finally. i have spent so much time fiddling with overrides. i can't believe how long it took to achieve so little. but i'm happy with the result now, so that probably means that livejournal will reset it on me. like it has done several times, at least i have a copy of my overrides.

i'm meeting that guy i spoke about the other day. should be fun.

my jaw is hurting. not too bad. maybe i'll have to book a physio appointment next week.

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[09 Feb 2005|01:38pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]


i'm trying to modify my journal layout and it keeps going wrong.

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[09 Feb 2005|11:51am]

thats how hot it is. far too hot for cleaning which is exactly what i had to do today. mum worked me into this deal where i do housework each week. yuk. my shirt has wet patches
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this guy from the personals site [08 Feb 2005|04:17pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

i'm chatting to this guy who i met at a personals site. i sent him the first message. he wrote back. we spoke of things that are no longer in my memory. but he got added to my messenger. he was one of the guys i sent messages to who i actually took some interest in.

i'm not interested in him romanitically at the moment. but as a friend yes. maybe more. lets see how it goes. i wouldn't mind a bit more action in my life at the moment.

the big thing though is that as a hobby he takes photographs. of women, all different styles. he showed me a link, i'll see if he will give it to me again.

it was very nice stuff. far more interesting than anything i got done from the modelling agency. i'd love to be in more artsy photos. he does nude and lingerie. i might even do a little of that. who knows

this could be a lot of fun. yay me

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[08 Feb 2005|02:46pm]
i had a job interview this morning. yah. go me. I scored an interview at Officeworks. I really hope to get this. I'd love to work surrounded by stationery and folders and photocopiers. I don't know what it is but i love that stuff, something about the way and its blank and it just screams at you. fill me fill organisation and notes. its so useful, yet some small and filmsy. functional. thats the word. i love the form and function of stationery. i wish i could write better. i can't describe the qualities i like about them because they are so elusive.

when i had dreams of having my own business i always planned to have funky stationery. slick black input trays. containing my super organisation that i would have running in by files. there would be a specific place for everything, and everything but a few open documents would be in place.

Thats is one thing i would like to do. Have my own business, or be partners with someone. I would love to work with a system that just flows like honey. I think I'd love this. I can manage multiple things in my head. I can focus more simulatanely on things and juggle them around getting things done. I find it difficult to do one thing, my mind starts to drift. I need the two or more to keep my mind happily processing away. thats something i wish i was doing now. juggling mutliple interests. i'm bored

so anyway. i really hope i get this job. my bank account balance is down by 1000. i do have 500 saved away in mums money, part of the bond i pay each week goes into a saving thing for me. it freaks me out a little because while i don't excatly throw my money around, i am spending far too much. when i was younger and saving for plastic surgery, i used to be so good at saving then. i wouldn't have done something like buy a softdrink unless i was really thirsty. now i do it without thinking. its got to be to do with limiting myself. i have problems doing this. with everything. i like excess. ok. its part of my bipolar histrionic makeup.

so.. hmm. i better get his job.

i'm still in my rambling mood. i just sat and looked at the screen for about half a minute trying to work out what to write. i may not have much to say. but i'm going to say it anyway.

uni starts soon.

one of the clubs is called "the high society", i'm going to join.
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[06 Feb 2005|06:19pm]
You scored as Cocaine. Be careful, this drug is very addicting, and you can build a tolerance quickly.
















What's your ideal drug?
created with QuizFarm.com
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stupid livejouranl ate up two of my posts [06 Feb 2005|06:04pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

i lost two posts thank you livejournal.


the amount of postage i've lost since joining up here is ridiculous. this time its not because of my computer or ie shutting down. but the client i use just seems to have stopped having the ability to upload. it doesn't have any error messages.

oh well. want to hear about my day. it was boring. i had a nice sleep in the afternoon and missed seeing a samurai movie with my parents.

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kitty test [06 Feb 2005|06:03pm]
[ mood | happy ]

You scored as Drunk Cat. Put down the bottle, Cheech. Sign up for some AA classes and drink a glass of water. Bars are ok once in a while, but you shouldn't be sleeping at them.


Drunk Cat


Derranged Cat


Ninja Cat


Pissed at the World Cat


Love Machine Cat


Nerd Cat


Couch Potato Cat


Which Absurd Cat are you?
created with QuizFarm.com
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[05 Feb 2005|08:03am]
[ mood | peaceful ]

morning lovely's.

it is morning. a bit after half past seven and i'm already on the computer. this new journal has become an obsession with me. i've finally found something to replace the old eating disorder forums that i used to go to. i've always had some place online that i've been an active member of. that was one of the things i was so excited to get the internet in the first place. that online social interaction. i've been addicted to message boards since i first got online. it was really frustrating too at first because our connection speed was so slow that i could hardly read anything. there used to be a great site called chickclick that ran an online girlie forum. it closed down because it was commercially run. i wish i could find a forum like that. i visit an eating disorder forum and i used to be on there day and night. i don't know if you guys knew, but there was a whole underground eating disorder community. pro ana pages and the like. they used to have anorexic tips and photos of impossibly thin women. i used to frequent these all the time. i liked the pictures. still do. they don't hold all that much appeal to me anymore though. they sort of make me sad. after doing the modelling course and seeing some of the tricks it just seems such a sham. why do i make such a fuss about how i look. actually thats easy to answer. i'm histrionic, one of the criteria is an excessive worry about how i look.

but back to the point i was making. i'm not as interested in the topics at the eating disorder sites. its like i've had a total mood shift. i just don't feel eating disordered anymore. sure i still eat and throw up occasionally. but i think as long as i keep it under control i should be ok. i haven't had any medical commplications in the past despite being a 5 times a day purger at one stage.

i think livejournal maybe my new hangout of choice. it will be different though, a lot more personal. it will be a good exercise for me too. plotting out whats happening in my life. its not easy for me to do this. i like to be multi-tasking. but it requires a startup to get the process flowing, and over the past several years it just wasn't functioning. i could never get to a nice point of equilibrium in my life. i guess i wasn't really searching for equilirium by pushing myself to stay manic perhaps. but i don't do this anymore.

multitasking. the ingrediants are set. i have a job interview next tuesday for office works. a big office warehouse. i've already passed one level of the job interview process here. its a coles myer job so i had to do a group interview after applying online. i feel good vibes about this. i've always said i'd like to work at office works. something about the possibilities associated with so much clean stationery really tickles my fancy. and it was office works that called, not even one of the ones in an area i'd listed. it just seems like more than coincidence. anyway. i have the feeling that i will get it. maybe i'm just building up my expectations.

it would be ideal. they would probably give me the 20-30 hours i want and i can get some money together and move out. this will of course mean i have to go home alot to borrow the car to get to work. i'm going to keep my other one since i only have to say ya or nah on the day. i've always liked it when i juggle two jobs. makes me feel on the ball i guess

then i'll have uni. i hope i'm up for it. i've been smoking too much pot. i will cut down when i start back at uni. thats a rule. hopefully i get this job and am kept busy

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[05 Feb 2005|12:49am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

i just realised that i haven't been posting a mood icon. i love those things.
i feel accomplished because i've just made my journal more interesting.

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